How to Insert a Dildo - Men and Women Guide
Did you know that most women experience optimal pleasure in just the first third of the vagina? This significant insight shows why proper technique matters more than size when you learn to insert a dildo.
Dildos are versatile tools for sexual pleasure, but first-time users often feel uncertain about proper insertion techniques. You need to understand everything about comfort and safety whether you're trying solo play or partnered activities.
New users should focus on selecting the right size, using appropriate lubrication, and maintaining proper hygiene. Medical-grade silicone provides the safest experience because it's nonporous. Proper lubrication is vital to ensure comfortable insertion.
This piece will guide you through safe dildo insertion. You'll learn about essential preparations and progressive techniques that build confidence over time.
Essential Safety Preparations
A great dildo experience starts with proper preparation. You need to understand basic safety measures that will keep you comfortable and protected during intimate pleasure.
Choosing the right size
Beginners should pick a smaller, realistically-sized dildo. Your fingers can help you figure out comfortable sizes. Start with one lubricated finger, then try two or three to understand what width works best for you.
Silicone toys might feel a bit smaller because they're flexible. Glass or metal toys are harder and can give you more intense stimulation. Both length and girth matter - most people find that girth plays a bigger role in pleasure.
Cleaning and sanitizing
You'll need to clean your dildo properly to avoid bacteria and infections. Use mild liquid hand soap or castile soap to clean the surface before and after each use. Nonmechanized toys need proper disinfection:
- Boil 100% silicone, stainless steel, or borosilicate glass toys for 3 minutes after cleaning
- Use a 10% bleach solution (1 part bleach to 9 parts water) for waterproof toys
- Put nonmechanized toys through your dishwasher's sanitize cycle
Let your toys air dry completely before storing them. Battery-operated toys need special care - take out the batteries and keep compartments open while drying.
Selecting body-safe materials
The FDA doesn't regulate sex toys, so picking body-safe materials is vital. These nonporous materials are your best bet:
Medical-grade silicone: You get flexibility and durability without harmful chemicals. Manufacturers and users agree that silicone is the way to go.
Borosilicate glass: This material isn't porous or toxic and keeps its shape even at high temperatures.
Stainless steel: The nonporous surface makes it easy to clean and sanitize.
Stay away from these materials that could harm you:
Jelly rubber: Contains phthalates that scientists have linked to fertility issues, obesity, and type 2 diabetes.
PVC and vinyl: These cheap materials have harmful phthalates.
Rubber: Bacteria love this porous material, and it can cause allergic reactions.
Labels saying "phthalate-free" don't always tell the whole story - toys might still contain other harmful stuff. Here's a quick test: a strong chemical smell usually means unsafe materials.
Shared toys or ones used for both anal and vaginal play need condoms. Keep your toys separate, especially soft ones that might melt together. A cool, dark, dry spot away from sunlight works best for storage.
Quality materials cost more upfront but last longer and give you peace of mind. Think of it as an investment in your safety and enjoyment.
Getting Mentally Prepared
Mental preparation is vital for successful dildo insertion. A good understanding of the psychological aspects leads to positive experiences with intimate toys.
Managing anxiety
New users naturally feel nervous about using dildos. Your anxiety shouldn't control the experience - these feelings are completely normal. Sexual wellness experts recommend open discussions about your priorities, especially during private, calm moments.
Here are some ways to manage anxiety:
- Put your comfort first instead of meeting external expectations
- Take things slow without rushing
- Give yourself time to explore
- Accept that you might need several sessions to feel at ease
Barbara Santini, psychologist and relationship advisor, emphasizes, "Our mental and emotional state directly impacts our ability to enjoy physical pleasure". The overall experience improves substantially when you address your concerns beforehand.
Creating a relaxing environment
Your central nervous system controls both vaginal and anal muscles. Muscle tension can damage tissue, so relaxation becomes vital for safe insertion. The right atmosphere helps your body relax and improves pleasure.
Katie Lasson, sex and relationship advisor, points out, "Privacy and feeling safe are essential for true enjoyment". Here's how to set up an ideal space:
Lighting and Ambiance
- Use dim lights or soft bedside lamps
- Light scented candles for aromatherapy
- Lock doors to ensure complete privacy
- Keep the room temperature comfortable
Sound and Atmosphere
- Play calming background music
- Pick ambient sounds that help you relax
- Cut down external noise
- Switch your phone to silent mode
Sexual therapist Tatyana Dyachenko notes, "Dim, soft lighting can evoke a sense of relaxation and intimacy, which helps build arousal". This controlled setting lets you focus on the experience without distractions.
Personal preparation also adds to your comfort:
- Place a towel nearby for peace of mind
- Keep everything you need within reach
- Set aside enough uninterrupted time
- Clear your space of distractions
You can boost arousal by:
- Using erotic content you enjoy
- Trying gentle self-massage
- Practicing deep breathing
- Being mindful of your body
Patience makes all the difference in this process. The unofficial motto for successful dildo use highlights "Patience, practice, and communication". The right mental state and physical environment lead to better experiences.
Your body responds better in a relaxed and aroused state. This preparation isn't just about setting a mood - it creates ideal conditions for safety and pleasure. A solid foundation comes from addressing both mental preparation and environmental factors.
Basic Insertion Steps
The right position and technique make all the difference when you learn to insert a dildo. These basic steps will give a safe and pleasurable intimate exploration experience.
Starting position
Your comfort level will affect your experience by a lot. You'll find it easier to insert when you lie on your back with legs toward your chest. You might also prefer squatting or kneeling, based on how flexible you are and the type of dildo you use.
These positioning tips will help you stay in control:
- Put pillows under your hips to get better angles
- Keep your knees bent and legs comfortably spread
- Make sure your back stays supported and relaxed
- Choose a spot where you can easily reach and move the toy
Using lubricant properly
You'll need lubricant to make insertion comfortable. Water-based lubes work best with silicone toys. Notwithstanding that, silicone-based lubes pair well with hard-material toys like glass or ceramic.
Put plenty of lube in two main spots:
- The whole insertable part of the dildo
- Your intimate areas, including both inner and outer lips
Stay away from oil-based lubes with toys since they can damage materials and aren't safe for internal use. Add more lube during your session if needed to stay comfortable.
Gentle insertion technique
Set up a relaxed and peaceful mood. Once you feel comfortable, follow these steps to insert safely:
- Press the lubricated tip gently against your opening
- Use your middle and index fingers to spread your lips a bit
- Go in slowly so your body adjusts to the feeling
- Pay attention to what your body tells you about depth and speed
Try these moves to feel even better:
- Give the dildo a slight twist during insertion
- Try different angles until you find what works best
- Mix in some clitoral play to get more aroused
Your vagina naturally lets you know how deep to go based on how relaxed and aroused you feel. Set your own pace and speed up when it feels right.
Some dildos come with bases that help you grip and control them better. Whatever design you have, keep a firm but gentle hold to control movement and depth precisely. You might find that diagonal or curved angles hit your sensitive spots just right.
The first time you try, any resistance or discomfort means you should slow down or shift position. Take your time to explore angles and depths to learn what brings the most pleasure while staying comfortable.
Common First-Time Challenges
New dildo users often face physical and psychological barriers that affect their experience. Learning about these challenges will create a more comfortable and enjoyable trip toward intimate exploration.
Dealing with resistance
Your body naturally resists as it adjusts to new sensations. When you feel resistance, do not force insertion because this could cause injury. These proven techniques will help:
- Circle the dildo tip around the opening to help muscles relax
- Apply gentle pressure without pushing past comfort zones
- Take breaks between attempts to let tissues adjust
Insufficient arousal often leads to physical resistance. Your body signals its readiness through natural lubrication and muscle relaxation. Recognizing these bodily cues will give a safer, more comfortable experience.
Signs of proper arousal:
- Natural wetness increases
- Muscles feel more relaxed
- Vaginal tissues become softer
- Internal space expands naturally
Managing discomfort
Discomfort varies from mild stretching sensations to actual pain. The difference between these sensations is vital for safe exploration. Sharp pain, burning, or intense discomfort means you should stop and reassess.
Common causes of discomfort include:
-
Material reactions
- Burning sensations might signal toy material sensitivity
- Use body-safe alternatives or add condoms
- Test materials on sensitive skin first
-
Insufficient lubrication
- Dehydration makes lube absorb faster
- Hybrid or thicker lubes last longer
- Reapply as needed throughout sessions
-
Size compatibility
- Large sizes create unnecessary strain
- Start with smaller sizes
- Progress gradually as comfort increases
-
Medical considerations
- Persistent pain needs medical attention
- Pain levels above 6/10 need professional evaluation
- Some conditions might need treatment
These expert-recommended strategies enhance comfort:
Temperature adjustment:
- Warm toys to body temperature
- Use warm water or hold against skin
- Avoid extreme temperature changes
Position modifications:
- Try different angles
- Adjust hip elevation with pillows
- Change positions if discomfort occurs
Vaginal tissues become softer mid-cycle, which might make this time more comfortable for exploration. Comfort varies by individual, so understanding your body's unique responses matters most.
If discomfort continues despite proper preparation, try these solutions:
- External stimulation before insertion
- Progressive size training
- Extended foreplay periods
- Alternative toy materials
Building comfort takes time. Full insertion might require several sessions. This gradual approach allows proper muscle adaptation and builds confidence with larger sizes.